Two Hearts

1st Day of February

0745hrs

I can show you the world...

Shining, shimmering, splendid...

Tell me Princess,

Now when did you last let your heart decide... 

The alarm song as requested by Tata. I reached sleepily for my phone to turn it off. I found Tata staring up at me from her bed. I fell asleep next to her last night.

"Time to wake up," I smiled, stretching out to wake myself up.

I got up and drew the curtains to let the sunshine in.

She covered herself with a blanket.

0750hrs

"Tata," I called our her name, louder this time.

She buried herself deeper under her blanket. 

0758hrs

"Okay," I said louder again as I entered her room. "You need to get up now. C'mon! I'll piggy back you to the kitchen."

No response. 

I pulled her blanket off.

"I'm cold," she complained.

"Fine," I said sternly, waking out of the room. "You can just walk to the kitchen." 

She scrambled out of bed and followed me, crying already.

Oh gosh. Here we go. Happy Monday.

0805hrs

Crisis diverted. She is eating breakfast along with Hubby.

I made two sets of sandwiches for the first time. One strawberry jam and butter. The other omelet sandwhich.

0813hrs

Made myself toast.

Ugh. What happened to the time?!

0820hrs

I shoved another mouthful of strawberry jam and buttered toast in my mouth. 

"Goggles!" Toto exclaimed suddenly.

"Outside, red bag, table," I replied.

He ran out to fetch it and returned triumphantly, the orange and blue swimming goggles in his hand.

"Good Kuya," Hubby said sleepily. 

"Ouch!" Tata yelped again as I continued brushing out the knots in her hair. 

"Nearly done," I said. "I think we need to comb out all the knots before bed and plait your hair. This is taking too long."

I persevered and finally got her hair plaited and ready for school. 

School. 

First.

Day.

First day of school for my youngest.

Keep it together... Breathe in.... Breathe out.

I glanced at the ever cool Toto. He had the whole school thing down pat. He had already eaten breakfast (no prompting), packed his bag (with lots of prompting), brushed his teeth (no promoting again) and gotten dressed all by himself (no promoting - winning!). He sat there with his iPad, entertained by Geometry Dash. I ruffled his hair playfully and he smiled at me.

"Okay Tata! Brush teeth time," I clapped as I flew to the bathroom.

Tata followed shortly after, wearing a milk moustache. I smiled. My baby is going to school.

For goodness sakes, I told myself sternly. Don't cry now and choke on toothpaste.

We headed to her room and I helped her into her uniform. Size 4. So little. Even the culottes were a tad big on her.

Tata put her finger on her wriggling tooth, a new discovery from yesterday. 

"My tooth is going to come out Mummy!" Tata grinned up at me, her eyes shining excitedly. She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. I shook my head and the hand went down to her side sheepishly.

"Not yet Tata," I told her as I tucked her shirt in. "It will be a long process."

"Huh?" She asked bewildered. "I need a tissue!"

She ran out to grab a tissue as I ran into our room. Hubby could not stay up to take the kids to school with me after a busy night shift. He was already asleep.

0843hrs

"Oh crap!" I murmured as I glanced at the time.

I stared at the mountain of clean laundry in baskets in front of me. I blindly grabbed clothes hastily and threw them on.

"Tata, grab your bag please," I called out. "Toto, shoes on please."

We were one scrambling mess tumbling out the door. 

0850hrs

"The bus might leave me Mummy," Toto fretted as we drove to school.

"It's okay," I reassured him and I crossed my fingers we would make it in time.

0853hrs

The two kids walked ahead of me.

Click! I took a photo of then holding hands and I could hear Toto imparting words of wisdom for Tata's first day of school. My heart swelled. I swallowed my tears.

0855hrs

Waiting at the crossing.

Click! Tata and Toto photo together looking at the camera. Smiling. Squinting a bit because of the sun.

Click! Tata in her school hat by herself.

0857hrs

We rushed up the stairs, Tata's hand clutched in mine and Toto lead the way.

"Where is the kindy class?" I inquired the teacher at the top of the stairs.

"Just over there," he pointed at a flock of parents on the other side of the room.

Toto bid me a quick goodbye and ran off to his class. I took Tata to hers. My heart was pounding. Not sure whether it was all the rushing or was I apprehensive parting with my little princess.

No time to think. We reached the group and we took Tata's bag to their bag cupboard. 

Click! I took a photo of her with her bag and the bag cupboard.

I took her to a table with an empty seat. She was seated next to her pre-school classmate. They waved shyly at each other.

Click! Click! Click!

I took Tata to introduce her to the teacher. She showed us to her "tub" with her name printed colourfully on it. There was a name tag inside. Tata grabbed the name tag and I grabbed the tub and placed it in the shelf. We placed her lunchbox, school hat and pink water bottle with butterflies on it inside.

We pinned her name tag on.

She sat back down. 

Click! I took a candid photo of her colouring in.

Click! I asked her to smile for the camera.

Click! I asked her to smile for the camera again. This time her smile was half hearted.

"Mummy," she whispered. "Stop taking pictures."

I laughed. And then I was sad. I was frantically trying to capture her image because I knew once I said goodbye, we would be parting. And she would be on her own. 

I crouched down next to her. I introduced her to the two new faces on her table. They all smiled at each other.

0918hrs 

"Parents," their teacher spoke over the buzz of mums and dads. "Last photos and then morning tea will be waiting for you downstairs."

This is it, I thought as I gave Tata a big hug. I kissed her cheek and tried not to imprint my lipstick on her. 

"Have fun bubba," I told her. "I will pick you up later okay?"

"Okay Mummy," she said, her eyes darting to a classmate that had started crying. Her eyes darted to another one who also started crying. I could see her assessing the situation in her head. Her eyes became moist and I held my breath. She grabbed another coloured pencil and started colouring in again. She remained stoic.

"Have courage and be kind," I told her once after we watched Cinderella.

Maybe this is Tata being brave. The tears did not fall. 

I got up. I lingered as parents began to dwindle out the door. I shifted my bag to my other shoulder. I slowly shuffled out. 

Down the same stairs we rushed up when we arrived.

I paused in front of the morning tea stand. A parent friend came up to greet me. We chatted. I don't even remember what about. I bid her farewell. 

I walked back to the car. Got in the car. Turned on the engine. Drove home.

0925hrs 

Arrived home. It was quiet.

Then I let myself have a little cry.

I read somewhere once that to have children is quite an important decision because you are forever deciding to have your heart walk around outside your body. 

Two of my hearts are now in school. Two hearts fluttering in life, becoming their own person. Part of the poem by E.E. Cummings sprung to mind.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows 

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud 

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows 

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) 

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart 

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

No matter how far their dreams and life take them, as their mother I will forever carry their hearts in mine. 

And that is that.

Car Conversations One Friday Evening

"What does p,p,o,o spell?" Tata giggled.

"Puh, puh, ooh!" I called out from the front seat of hubby's car.

"What does p,p,n,o,o spell?"'she continued, giggling some more.

"Puh, puh, nooooh," I laughed. 

"Hey Tata, what is 5 times 5?" Mateo interjected. "Figure that one out."

Silence from the back seat.

A few seconds later....

"Hey Mummy," Tata's voice spoke up. "Look at Kuya's* funny face!"

More giggles.

*Kuya means big brother in Tagalog

* * *

"Daddy, I'm hot," Tata's voice called out from the backseat. "Can we please turn on the aircon to medium?"

"Okay," Hubby said as he cranked it up a smidge. 

Silence for a second.

"Mummy, I'm thirsty," Tata whined as we were a block away from home. 

"Good timing," I said. "We're nearly home."

"But I can have the water from the water bottle," she told me.

"Yes," I agreed. "You can have it at home."

"Everything is at home," she sighed.

"And the message finally sinks in," Hubby chuckled.

* * *

"Once upon a time," Toto began solemnly. "There was a girl called Tata and she had a big butt."

"Stop!" Tata cried out. "I don't have a big butt!"

"Okay, once upon a time, there was a girl called Tata and she had a funny face," Toto continued tormenting his sister.

"Stop it!" Tata's shrill voice filled the car.

"Once upon a time," Toto began once more. "There was a Princess named Tata and she was very beautiful."

"Kuya, stop!" Tata automatically cried out.

"What?" Toto said incredulously. "You don't want to be a beautiful Princess?"

"Oh yes," Tata spoke gracefully. "I am a beautiful Princess."

Shut Up and Dance With Me

Three evenings ago, just as I finished cleaning the kitchen, I glanced up at the clock in the lounge room. It was bedtime. Time escaped me... Again! Story of my life.

"Okay guys," I said, walking up to the kids who were seated in front of the TV, playing Little Big Planet. I listened to them laugh, giggle, banter, laugh some more for the last half hour as I tidied the kitchen. 

"I know," Toto said knowingly. "Brush teeth."

"Yup!" I confirmed.

"Okay Mummy," he said right away as he got up and placed his controller on the floor next to his sister. "I'll do it now."

Off he sauntered into the bathroom as the little miss still sat on the floor, intently playing.

"Hello?" I called out to her. "You too Tata."

"Mummy, one last level please," she implored.

"Okay," I relented. "But as soon as that is finished, up you get."

She chattered on after agreeing with me. I had no idea what was happening in the game but she spoke to me like I did. I looked at what was happening for a while. Nope, still no idea.

Toto came back out in pyjamas and fresh minty breath.

"Oh no I died!" Wailed Tata dramatically. "I have to do that again."

"Excuse me," I cleared my throat, putting on an equally dramatic voice. "Last level. Deal didn't include starting again."

As Toto turned off the game for his pouting sister, I ordered Tata to the bathroom. She sulkily made her way there with an Oscar winning performance, complete with side glance to make sure I was watching.

After she had brushed her teeth I called her back to the lounge room.

"Okay guys, let's all tidy up the lounge room," I announced as I put on our current favourite song on my phone. I cranked up the volume and the first notes of the melody played.

"I'm tired Mummy," Tata grumbled, her eyes half closed for emphasis. I tell you, she's good! "I don't want to clean. I want to go to sleep."

"C'mon, let's go," I urged her as Toto and I began dancing around as we picked up cushions and toys off the floor.

Toto had a dance of his own going on... He was rocking it. Tata watched us and began to dance around a little bit initially. By the time the chorus hit, we were all jumping around singing out loud.

"Oh don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me.
I said you're holding back,
She said shut up and dance with me!
This woman is my destiny
She said oh oh oh
Shut up and dance with me!"

The same song played three times! Toto and Tata were having so much fun. Tata's mood shifted considerably and she was in a happier disposition. 

Not long after their little dance session, the lounge was tidied and they were off to bed.

Tonight, they asked for the same song to be played while we tidied up the lounge at the end of the day. Winning! Days like these I feel like I am doing something right *insert proud grin here* 

Pass go and collect $200 woohoo!

I have to go now... Off to dance and tidy up the house with the kiddies. 

Goodnight all!

Of Grumbles and Rockpools

Hubby and I do not often get days off together. In fact, if you have to be completely honest about it, we have every second Saturday. That is the only time our family is complete. So when Hubby found himself with a day off on a Tuesday, we made plans to go to the beach. The sun was out, it was a sweltering summer day! 

Of course, if this was a movie, the kids would be jubilant, jumping up and down excitedly. Maybe even a family dog barking along with the ruckus they are making because hey, we are going to the beach. 

However, in "Rheel Life", we have no family dog and the kids looked up at me from behind their respective iPads and said in unison, "Ohhhhh, do we have to go out?" 

"Of course we have to go out," I cried out incredulously at the lack of enthusiasm from the pair. "It is summer time! The beach beckons us." 

Okay, so maybe I didn't say those exact words but in the movie I would have. I quickly ushered the kids to change as I ran around the house trying to put together beach towels, multiple tubs of sunscreen and a picnic rug. Finally, after much cajoling, we were out the door and headed for Clovelly.

Of course, in this movie, Hubby took the "other" way.

Traffic.

More whinging from the back seat.

I felt my blood pressure going up. 

Whinging from back seat finally stopped because they fell asleep.

But more traffic.

Peak hour traffic.

Ugh!

Calm down woman! Just enjoy the ride.

Chill.

By the time we got there, it was almost 5pm. The kids jumped straight in the water as Hubby and I lingered on the picnic rug watching them. I can hear Tata squealing as her big brother chased her. After a while, I went in the water to snorkel. Toto joined me as Tata ran back to shore to play with her bucket and spade and hunt for seashells. We always end up with a big handful every time we go to the beach. All different shapes and sizes. Sometimes, even a random beer cap ends up in her collection.

As the sun began to fade where we were, we relocated close to the rockpools. This seemingly logical relocation was met with much complaining from the kids.

"But I want to play on the beach," Toto lamented. "I just met a new friend."

"What is his name?" I remember asking as he pulled out a pout. 

"That was the next thing I was going to ask him but you called me," he grumbled.

"Mummy, is there sand there?" Tata asked. 

"Not as much," I replied truthfully. "But there is a different adventure there."

"I want sand," Little Miss whined.

We eventually ended up on the rock pools. After I had taken them to explore the area, they slowly started to warm up to the area. Toto even found a rockpool deep enough where other kids were jumping into. He joined in. 

Meanwhile, Tata was engrossed with the hundreds of sea snails in the different rock pools we encountered. She would pick them off the side and cluster them to form a little family. She would move onto the next rock pool and would repeat the process.

All is well again and the kids were happily doing their thing. I waved at Hubby as he  watched from a distance. My gaze remained on him as he stood watching other swimmers jump joyously into the water. The sun reflected off his sunglasses and his skin glowed golden under the sun's rays.

I heard Tata shriek excitedly as two dogs joined her and her brother in the shallow water, prying my gaze away from Hubby. The owner of the two dogs coached the kids on how to make the dogs fetch some rocks. Toto and Tata happily played with them, patting them once in a while when they brushed up against their wet fur. More dogs joined them and before they knew it, they were surrounded by at least five, four legged furry creatures of different sizes, tails wagging and tongues dangling out of their smiling mouths. The kids were blissfully ecstatic!

I watched the scene in front of me, a smile on my lips. Here are two kids who, only a couple of hours ago, whinged and complained about leaving the house. 

As the sun began to make its descent into the far distant horizon, I continued to watch the dogs splashing around Toto and Tata. The tide was rising slowly and the waves tickled my feet. Toto threw a rock and one of the dogs fetched it and brought it back to him. 

"Here boy," one owner called out to his chocolate brown cocker spaniel. The dog happily jumped over the small hurdles of rocks and followed his master.

One by one, the dogs began to disappear until there were none left. 

"Time to go now kids," I announced, hugging my arms close to me as a cool breeze nipped at our skin.

"Bye bye sea snails," Tata bid her new discovery farewell. 

"Mummy, dogs are cool," Toto stated a matter of factly. 

"Yes they are," I agreed as I clutched Tata's hand in my left and Toto's in my right.

We skipped and climbed over rocks, the sky turning into a fiery orange canvas. They ran to daddy who wrapped them up in their beach towels. It's the little things that tug at my heart strings. Life need not be movie perfect. We often get caught up in everyone's picture perfect world that we forget to realise we have our own picture perfect moments too. Mind you, they tend to be caught up in between reality and not so good days. 

As we walked back to the car, in much happier dispositions, I have to admit life seemed pretty perfect right then. Even for just a moment. 

My three hearts on their merry way...

The glorious sunset ahead of us showed the way back to our car...

Couldn't have picked a better ending for our little summer movie. 

Roll credits. 

Green Ice-Cream With Pink Sprinkles

My eyes opened up suddenly this morning, ripping me away from a dream and delivering me back into reality. I contemplated sleeping some more but I already had a lot on my mind this Thursday morning. A list of little things to do in my head before I had to scoot off to work. I grabbed my phone and checked messages and notifications like I do every morning...

Instagram (@rheerhee) - Wow! A few new followers and 99 likes on a new photo I posted last night.

Snapchat (rhee4rheel) - My friend sent me a photo of her having trouble getting up early this morning. Sent a photo back of me still in bed. Woohoo! We are on a 57 day straight streak of sending each other silly photos.

Facebook - meh... Decided to check it later as there were a few notifications I didn't want to read through just yet.

Clash of Clans (rheecrazee) - collected gold, collected elixir, collected dark elixir, checked my troops and raided a base. Woo hoo! I got a star.

I clicked on a new app I got yesterday. Bloglovin'. I had been trying to "claim" my blog in it but was unable to do so last night. I eventually gave up and fell asleep. So this morning, I made it my mission to "claim" my Rheel Life blog! I Googled instructions on how to do it. Within 10 minutes I was able to claim my blog and add two widgets onto my blog! I say it like I knew what just happened but I have no idea. I was a little excited that I have a new widget thingy on my blog now... Actually make that two widget thingies - mind riveting stuff!

Finally jumped out of bed when I realised that I spent half an hour on my phone. There were things to do! 

Bathroom.

Straight to kitchen. I found Toto munching on something. I greeted him good morning and found he was eating crunchy kale. 

"Oh my gosh you finished it," I laughed.

"It's so good Mummy," he smiled, his teeth dotted with green flecks.

I drank a glass of water. Morning ritual. Then set out to do what I needed to do.

Sliced brownies in half for the trifle I made for a luncheon at work - tick!

Place half the brownies onto individual panna cotta cups I made last night - 24 in total - tick!

Pack the rest of the brownies away to assemble the trifle when I get into work - tick! 

Pack the strawberries and raspberry conserve mixture for said trifle - tick!

Pack double cream for said trifle again - tick!

Checked with workmate regarding pizza order I made for party. Not enough pizzas. Ordered some more - tick!

Made myself two sunny side up eggs for breakfast - tick!

In true Rhyanne fashion, I over estimated time and found myself twiddling my thumbs as I waited for my coffee to come out of the machine. I had done everything I needed to do in half the time. As I stood there and smelt the coffee, Tata came out to the kitchen and greeted me, her bed hair and sleepy eyes looking up at me.

"Good mawnin' Mummy," she said sleepily. 

I scooped her up in my arms and buried my face in her small neck. I said good morning back into her neck and she giggled as she got tickled. She squirmed down from my embrace as I asked her what she wanted for breakfast. The usual, strawberry jam and butter on two slices of bread - no crust, and a glass of milk. 

We sat next to each other on the dining table as we finished breakfast. I was watching a show on my iPad when she took out her ice cream Playdoh set and sat next to me again. 

As I was getting engrossed in the drama that ensued between the two characters on my favourite soap opera, Tata started to sing a song. It was a song she had made up. She makes up a lot of songs. In fact, if she is not chattering, she is singing. If she is not singing a pop song, she makes up one. If she is not singing, she will be humming. Music revolves around her life. She reminded me of my grandmother, Mommy Fely. Growing up, I would always hear her singing or humming tunes. It was comforting to know my daughter does the same.

I tuned out of the show and turned to Tata, her unruly curls I had tied back in a hasty bun. She was still singing a made up song as she made me a "special surprise". She noticed me looking at her and she smiled at me.

"I'll miss this Tata," I said as I hugged her again. I gave her lots of kisses on her cheek and she giggled once more. 

"Why Mummy?" She asked as I let her go and she continued to play.

"Because you will be going to school this year," I said, a hint of sadness in my voice that she picked up on because she pouted. "I will miss Mummy and Tata time."

"I'll be sad Mummy," she said. "Do you want sprinkles on your ice cream Mummy?"

"Don't be sad Tata," I said gently, hugging her tightly to me and placing lots more kisses on her cheeks. 

"Mummy, do you want sprinkles?" She asked once again.

"Yes please," I laughed. "Pink ones!"

She started to sing again.

"I made up the song Mummy," she declared proudly, putting the finishing touches on my surprise ice cream.

"You're very clever," I smiled. "I will miss hearing you sing when you are at school."

"I will miss you too Mummy," she smiled back before presenting me with her Playdoh creation. "Tadaaaaa! It's for you!"

In front of me sat an ice cream cone with green Playdoh ice cream and pink sprinkles. It was the most colourful ice cream I have seen yet. 

"I love it!" I exclaimed. "Can I take a photo of it?"

"Yes you can Mummy," Tata said proudly. 

And just like that, that super awesome ice cream my curly haired daughter made kicked my strawberry and brownie trifle's butt.

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My Favourite Bottom Catcher

Two years ago, there was a blog I was reading that used to post questions for each day of December. You then take those questions and answer them in your journal/blog/diary/small pieces of paper that end up at the bottom of the drawer (or bag) - take your pick. I managed to dutifully answer each and every single one as far as December 7 and somehow, the festive season consumed me and I never got around to finishing the month. 

However, one of the questions hit a note and I remember sitting in bed furiously scribbling away in a tiny red journal. What is the question I hear you ask. Well, here it is....

Which is your favourite chair in the house and why?

I don't know about you but I have never been asked that question before. I remember holding my little red journal open and slowly wrote the question out. My pen paused in mid air because I tried to think of an answer. I also remember listing the types of chairs we had at home inside my head. The movie in my head showed me dressed like a clown, juggling and balancing different chairs - trying to weigh out the importance of each. I mean after all, let's face it, a chair is a bottom holder. Bum catcher. Butt rest. I didn't even know if I had a favourite.

Until this question made me really think... And after clearing my juggling act scenario in my head... I found my favourite.

When I was a teenager, my parents bought a timber corner dining set. We mainly used it for our meals. Often times, like all teenagers, we would eat and run. But around this rectangular dining table, we would linger long after our meal and sit around laughing and talking about our day. Of course, it wasn't always happy times around that dinner table. Some memories are poignant and tainted with sadness. Yet, majority of the events around it has been happy so I always associated it with happiness. For example, it was on that table where we announced that I was pregnant with child number one. I remember placing a pot and pan and placed the pregnancy test result inside. I then gathered my parents and my sister and asked them to lift up the lid to reveal our surprise. My mum and dad had no idea what was happening (probably thinking what on earth was a pee stick doing inside a pot haha) until my sister (she was always the clever one) stated "You're pregnant!" It still makes me giggle thinking about that memory.

My favourite chair is not really a chair. It is a bench. It belongs to the dining set. It is a long timber bench with a leather seat and a storage area underneath. That very bench sat family, closest friends, visitors, relatives, boyfriends, and many other faces that has been part of my life journey... Those who stayed and those who left. That bench saw me through homework and heartbreak in high school, through numerous essays and calculations in university, and countless hours hand crafting engagement, and later on wedding, invitations when I got engaged and then married. Eventually, even our mortgage broker sat down with us on that very seat and showed us the break down of our future mortgage payments.

When we moved to the new house, the whole dining corner set came with us. Many more memories were added to that bench. We initially placed it in the rumpus room. I remember thinking how dwarfed it looked in the massive floor space. Visions of my nearest and dearest sat there while playing games for my baby shower, one of the first parties we held in the new house. After a period of time, more parties were celebrated and friends sat there and ate and laughed with us. When our first born, Toto, entered our lives, and started becoming mobile, he would hold onto that timber bench to pull himself up onto a standing position. During the time when babies drool a lot, he would stand proudly holding onto the seat, his saliva going everywhere as he pounded his cute little baby hands on the padded leather. Seemingly so quick, he graduated to cruising and then eventually not needing the bench anymore he learnt to walk on his own. 

Another picture in my head was of Toto and his cousin sitting on that bench, sharing a bowlful of pasta. Their small little toddler hands grabbing at the spaghetti and pushing mouthfuls into their already full mouths, making their cheeks puff out. If I close my eyes, I can still see that memory so vividly. 

That dining set later graduated into the meals area in front of our kitchen. The dining table has been moved so many times yet my position always remained the same. I always sat on that bench seat. Even when it was still at my parents' house, it has always been my spot.

When we sold the big house and downsized to an apartment, the only part of that dining set that made it to our new place was that long bench seat. And it also followed us to the townhouse we moved into just before baby number two was born. It took prime position just under the breakfast benchtop and because it was right near the door, handbags were often placed on the faded leather seat by friends, family and visitors. I plopped groceries too heavy for me on that seat too. Just as I haphazardly plunked down groceries on it, I sunk my weight on it the day I came home and found out I had gestational diabetes. I was devastated and scared but eventually pulled myself up from the seat, determined to do the best I can to make sure baby number two and I will come out of the ordeal okay. Thank God we did. 

That leather seat took a lot of weight in its time! Toto also learnt how to make himself breakfast standing on that bench. He has spilt milk on it, cereal, strawberry jam, pancake batter, maple syrup, ice-cream and anything else in between. I can still see his chubby 4 year old legs climbing up and planting his cute little 4 year old feet firmly on the padded seat resolutely as if to say "I can do this!"

As seasons changed, more new memories surrounded the timber bench. New friends were made, new bottoms sat on it. Toto celebrated his 5th birthday in that townhouse and together with his new friends stood on the bench to blow out 5 little colourful candles on his birthday ice cream cake. Tata, just as her big brother did, learnt to pull herself up on that seat... And eventually, she also didn't need the bench to support her anymore as she walked on her own for the first time.

The timber bench has a storage compartment underneath. I had stored used paper bags, odd bits and pieces and other useless things in it. Things in the house that really have nowhere to go but I couldn't bear to part with just yet lived there... Or rather some still lives there now! It is a treasure trove. I have a difficult time parting with pretty paper bags so I have a handful of those in there. A paper bag from an American store is in there because, well, I'm actually not sure why it is in there but it did house a present from my sister at one time. I really should just put it in the recycling bin but somehow I keep thinking I might need it for something down the road. It is the same with the Oprah magazine I bought in commemoration of her trip Down Under. I never actually even read it but somehow can not part with it. I mean, come on guys... It's Oprah. I know, I have a problem.

Life continued with that bench... I always fretted that the kids would get their little fingers caught in the seat once they discovered they could lift it open. Somehow, they never did and my worrying eventually ebbed away. And those fingers became not so little anymore. The baby and toddler co-ordination became much more precise and before I knew it, they have grown up.

The next thing to worry about was when they started to climb onto it and leap to the floor with wild abandon! Oh. Em. Gee! That just caused undue tachycardia on my part. But the kids were having a ball thinking they were superheroes!

We moved once more into our current home. It was then that the timber bench was reunited with the rest of its constituents. Together, they fit snugly in the dining nook where more friendships and memories has gathered around this table and seats. Sadly, some friendships were not meant to be. Long talks ensued around that table and ended. Friendships moved on from there. However, there were more wonderful memories instead to focus on. Many friendships continued to deepen and a lot of turning points took part with my bottom on my favourite seat. With a glass of wine to boot!

Have I mentioned that the bench can also double up as a bed? Well, it does. There was a time that I was so tired that I just curled myself up and laid down on it. I slept for two hours. How I didn't fall off it remains a mystery. When I woke up, it was sunset and the sun rays were shining on me. My favourite bench seat has prime position to witness some of the most beautiful sunsets. Sometimes, when the kids are having dinner on a nice summer evening, I just stare and watch the sun's rays bounce off Tata's curls and Toto's disheveled hair. The early evening light turns them golden and everything looks magical... And even for just one quiet moment, no matter how hectic and frustrating the afternoon may have been, my children shine before me and I am reminded of their innocence. 

As much as I associate my seat with happiness and joy, it has also witnessed many tears... Tears when a friend shared past hurts and stories ... Tears when frustration got the better of another friend and she just cried... Tears of sadness when I sat there on the morning I found out my grandmother was sick and may not be likely to live any longer... Tears after a very heavy scenario at work when a young patient died and my friends were around that table commiserating and comforting me as I cried it out... I am thankful for each experience because each time, I was surrounded by love. 

However, amongst the tears are even more happy moments. Just like when my parents first got the table and we would sit around talking and laughing around it, it is the same til now.  In addition, Toto now uses the table and seat to do his homework on, Tata likes to draw endless castles and princesses, Hubby takes along his laptop once in a while and plays his games on it and I sometimes use the bench as part of my 7 minute cardio workout. The seat that I sit on now has a worn hole on the leather. I'm not sure what to do with it just yet so I cover it up with different materials until I figure out what to do. In hindsight, I kind of like what the hole represents. Life has worn away at the leather because we have been lucky enough to constantly be surrounded by friends and family on that table.

Nowadays, my kids tend to sit on my spot. I don't really mind scooting over to another seat. I hope that like me, they will have many happy memories on that table.  This year, Tata is starting kindergarten so I am sure school work will surround that timber dining set for a few years yet. I can not wait to experience many more moments with loved ones around that table. 

Lastly, to my favourite seat, I would like to say thank you for always having my back (side :p). I am sure you will still catch my weight for many more years to come. It is comforting to know that you saw me through the awkwardness of my teenage years right through my adventures, triumphs and struggles in adulthood. Your worn out leather and stains of time hold my stories. As I embark on this new journey of blogging, I am sure I will be seated here, right on this very bench seat as I write this now, for a long time yet. Together with the afternoon sun shining on me or the stillness of the depth of the night blanketing me... The sounds of my beautiful life surrounding me... And love... Always love. Because as I once read, time and love has a wonderful way of showing us what truly matters.

xoxo

The Beginning

So, here's the thing... I have a lot of little thoughts. Constant thoughts.

Short ones. 

Long ones. 

Thoughts when I am driving. 

Thoughts while I salsa through my Zumba class.

Thoughts popping up when I am hanging laundry.

Sometimes even when I least expect it like when I am half way through doing a burpee (I know right?! How random!)

Most of the times, these thoughts creep up on me when I am just about to fall asleep. A thought so good (well, in my head anyway) that I want to write it down so I can keep it forever but am usually too sleepy to do. Hence, by the morning, this super awesome thought joins the million other thoughts that disappear in my head. I like to imagine them drifting off to some Thought Heaven.... Sipping a cocktail by the Thought Heaven pool. On hiatus.

I am sure I am not alone and that millions of other people have this same experience. After all, the average human brain has about 100 billion brain cells and each of these may be connected to up to 10,000 other brain cells. And you know what these brain cells are constantly doing? They are passing signals to each other via as many as 1,000 trillion synaptic connections (thank you Google 😆)!!! Try getting your head around that thought. Can you imagine your brain synapsing left, right and centre?! I can. I picture them to be like little sparks of electricity - kinda like mini fireworks in my head. That is pretty cool. 

Ever since I can remember, I have always loved writing. For a few years now, I have entertained the idea of penning down my thoughts. Lately, my millions of thoughts that were all previously on hiatus has been knocking persistently on Thought Heaven's door. They demanded I let them out. So maybe, just maybe, it might be time time to start doing what I love again. 

But here is the catch - this will not be an ordinary blog. I warn you now that it could get quite disorderly, random and often times crazy! I could be talking about everything and anything under the sun. I find writing cathartic. I guess I am really doing this for myself. In the process of doing so, if people read it and find some solace in my ramblings, then that is an added bonus.

In addition, I also love taking photographs. So let me throw that in there as well. 

Now, the title. It was quite difficult to come up with one. There was a title I held on to for years and I thought it would work but alas, it didn't. So I finally came up with one that aptly describes me - it is a play on my nickname. And since I am forever a frustrated actress, I thought the name I came up with for this blog was perfect. 

Therefore, I am happy to announce the birth of Rheel Life ... Born on January 9, 2016... 7 pounds 6 ounces ... 19 inches.. Born from love, happiness, life and everything in between.

Buckle up people... You are in for a bumpy ride. 

Happy Reading! ☺️🙃